Blessed to be stupid

I didn't know its good or bad to have someone in your life knowing how clumsy and stupid you are.
Sometimes you aren't that stupid, they treat you like you are a baby and you need their care all the time.
Sometimes you show you are smart, you impress them.
Sometimes something slip your mind and you didn't know you were being stupid, these people suddenly accuse you for acting stupid.
They said you are smart, its impossible that these things can slip your mind.

How should I say?
How blessed it is to be stupid, you know someone would take care of you all the time.
Like they will catch you whenever you fall.
Okay maybe not 'fall', just slip.
How cruel it is to let people feel that when they are already taken care of and they can rely on you no matter what, they still need to be smart.
There is nothing so blissful that you can be stupid all the time.
Somehow you just can't depend on others too much because they won't catch you every time.
You can't feel so safe all the time.

I didn't know what had happened that I am not as smart as before.
Sometimes I think being smart is pathetic. Because being able to be stupid means you have someone right there taking care of you.
I don't want to be some very smart scary women, nobody would want to be that strong.
But sometimes people just don't get you, they don't know if you're stupid in front of them, it means how much you trust them, how much you give them your heart.

I can't describe how sad it is when you already expect so much from yourself, people still blame you for not doing well enough.
I think these are words that can kill.
Its so tiring to be perfectionist as some people will expect extraordinary things from you when they know you are a perfectionist.
They won't forgive you if you make a mistake, because you want perfection, you're not as simple as others.
How I wish I could be more stupid, more innocent, more naive and simpler since I was born.

Haha. You just can't learn to be not-so-smart after you have grown up.