糟糕一点

不知道你有没有这样的经验。
有些人看起来很糟糕，可是跟他相处久了，你发现他其实一点也不糟糕，甚至很棒。
因为先前的偏见，现在的棒更是双倍。
这些人还可能比你一开始就认为棒的人棒得更多。
我不懂自己糟不糟糕，不过我尽量开始让自己糟糕一点。
如果无法承受因为一点点不完美而造成的别人的失望，那我宁愿一开始就不完美。
宁愿一开始就让大家认为我有点糟糕。
虽然‘知道’我糟糕但还是愿意爱我的人，才是长久的爱。
假装糟糕，总好过假装完美。

原来糟糕一点，生活可以这么快乐。
:)

I can't be young twice.

Some people think life is a game.
You lose if you ever take it serious.
No wonder I am always a loser. Lol.

I would just follow my heart this time, I cannot be young twice.

Felt guilty for being praised?

I know I cannot sleep well at night when I do something wrong.

I have always admitted my mistake to people whom I hurt.

I would always make it up too if I am allowed and managed to do it.

But I never thought I'd have to feel so bad too for being good.

Some people are not willing to see you good, because they compare themselves to you all the time.

I hate being the 'imaginary opponent' of people, even though I know its because I can.

As long as they have this thought, they will not be so sincere to you.

I can't figure out whether its they are nice so they are nice to you, or they actually want people to think that they are nice.

They think this world is realistic, you cannot trust anybody, you don't give your true heart to anybody.

And there's no true friend on earth.

I hope this would never happened on me.

I didn't want to be the top or whatever, I just tried my best in what I am doing.

I am just so lucky that I have tried out some questions before I sat for the exam.

High score doesn't mean anything to me.

Other than 'Omg I was so damn lucky', I never felt so glad.

I didn't know why my lecturer thought that its because of my hard work but not the luckiness, maybe I have built up some kind of hardworking impression for her.

I am always hardworking on what I like, I don't say I deserve this, but I did put in a lot of my effort.

I never thought people might think of me like that when the lecturer praised me in class.

You can deny my high score, you cannot deny my hard work.

Don't worry, I will confess to my lecturer that its just because I am lucky, I am actually not that good.

I am blogging about this now because I didn't sleep well and I just couldn't bear it anymore.

I am feeling very guilty for being praised.

Thank you.

温暖的过客

有些朋友好像过客，他们偶然对你有兴趣，就会来你的世界转两圈。
意兴阑珊时，他们会匆匆又悄悄地离开。
有点良心的会记得你们曾经要好过，良心不多的会把你们之间的事彻底忘记。
当你不小心提醒他你们曾经要好，他还给你一副原来如此的表情。
我不能怪这些人无情，谁叫我比这些人重情义。
他们从来不在乎，这些人总是比较快乐一些。
我只能静静地，希望自己没有为其他重感情的人带来这样的烦恼。
重感情的人总是应该被珍惜，我怕有一天这样的人会在世上消失。
可不可以设一条法令，保护这些渐渐稀有的人种？
不，这些人应该散发更多的爱，更多的感情，感化剩下占大部分的人种。
哈哈 :)

我常常希望自己不是过客。
虽然我知道不可能。
可是对我来说，过客也有分别。
要当怎样的过客，每个人都有自由选择的权利。

No string attached

When friends around are starting their brand new life everywhere else which I am not familiar with, I started to feel lonely. And bored. 

I am so looking forward to starting my new life in university. But at the same time I couldn't bear to leave. 

I know I would miss life in Inti, its simple and nice. 

I never thought I'd developed this kind of feeling in this one and a half year, I once told myself not to. 

I am not really that cool.

You know its so suffering to say goodbye to people you really like after spending only a short period of time. 

I don't really cry over for a goodbye, I usually well-prepare myself before that.

Life is all good except that I screwed my mathematics paper.

I hope I am not getting a 'Fail' grade. 

First time in my life, hah. I am also prepared, not going to be sad over this.

I am so glad I learnt how to let go of things faster than I used to be.

Its definitely a good sign in me. :)

Sleeping well!

I was so mad when 2 pieces of my new clothes went missing.
There is thief or are thieves living around me, making my life so miserable.
I will be extra careful, not giving those ruining-world-image people any damn chance.

I went to merdeka countdown on our national day, which made me realized how important education is.
Not to mention how polluted the environment is, people were not too polite.
I couldn't differentiate whether they were joking or being serious, they were smiling while they used vulgar words.
I only hope Malaysia will be better, a lot better, with more educated people living in this land.
Of course, please act and talk like you're educated.

Nah trial is near, life is boring to be filled with books and exercise.

Thank God, really thank God, I am more than thankful that I have been sleeping well. :))

如果世界不美好，为什么活着？

我总是相信这个世界是美好的。
不管发生什么事，我最不愿意自己怀疑人性。
提防性不高不是因为我粗心大意，我不愿意到处怀疑，觉得走在街上会被打枪，看见不同肤色的人就要拉紧包包。
这个不是我。
我相信人性本善，以前也总是觉得每个人都应该有改过自新的机会。
可是谁来给受害者机会？
第一次犯错的人有机会悔改，那受害者有没有机会忘掉痛苦的经历，重新生活？
现在我开始阻止自己同情犯错的人。这些人在犯错以前先用脑袋思考。
除非他们有生命危险而不得已犯错。

我不愿意胡乱指责无辜的人，如果不是长久下来的观察我不会随便怀疑。
我也害怕这样的指责会深深伤害无辜单纯的人。
可是如果闭门不解释，不为自己洗脱嫌疑，我不想同情这种人。
我不想用有色眼光看人，现实却逼我就范。
如果你还想要你的小命，你的财物，你最好天天戴着有色眼镜。

我不知道应该怎么让自己如人心惶惶。
这样生活很累。
这是一个很好的教训，世上的好人原来寥寥无几。