I'm like a cow.

I never know which is the best of me.
I can never figure it out.
And when people says you change, what can you do other than giving them a smile?
You can't always assume people are talking that you're changing for better.
There's always a reason for them to say that.
I can't hide that i care about it, if people never tells what is that that i have changed.
Perhaps its not towards the worse, they just can't get used to it.
And i know mixed feelings are there, for me and for them.

Little guy said, what for i do everything to be someone whom you like, whom you prefer.
I just need to be one whom i want to be, whom i meant to be.
Sometimes its uncontrollable, you can't ignore people who is important to you.
Especially what they say about you.
And i know i can't even ignore what a stranger says, unless he is someone i would scold a 'shit' when i see him.

I think its better to be like this, i hate it when i can't give an interesting response when people are telling jokes, when they make fun of you.
Smile and make scene quiet is not a good choice.
Who wants to be boring in anyway?
I guess people are repeating this over and over again.
You change into this person when you meet this kind of people, you change into another person when you are with another group of friends.
You said its like not having a special characteristics, its just following what people needs, so its actually living under everyone you care about.
But what is wrong with that?
This is also a characteristic, just sometimes you can't be so sure to change into this or that.
Like what people says, change yourself to suit different environment, isn't it?

Just we need those true friends who know your true color and would never leave you.
They never tell you that you changed.
They can already expected what is in you although you might not show it to them.
They understand what is going on you and they give you support.
I think this is what a true friend does.

Lol, i think i have over-reacted over this 'changing' issue.
People might not think that 'change' has any negative meaning. :)



You admire those who choose what they like and what they really want.
You even give them support.
but when it comes to someone close to you, you can't accept.
You scare of failure, and in some point, you're not confident in her.
That makes me disappointed.
I'm just, nothing.
Now, i don't believe i can be a doctor, without you trusting.