Too overwhelmed with Happiness.

Oh My God.
I am thankful that 3 Apr 2012 is not yet end of the world.
I am so glad I am still living now, in this I-thought-would-be-awful-2012.
And I never thought my 19th birthday could be so awesome!
In case you can't imagine how happy I was, I couldn't sleep last night as my mind couldn't stop working on those beautiful memories.
Thank you people for making my 19th birthday so awesome, I would never forget every details of it. Thank you! :)



I hope I have more photos but sadly, they're not in my phone.

Words can't describe it all but I am really really thankful for this perfect surprise. (thou I spoiled it by not showing up on time, sorry!)
You know how much it mean to me. Thank you, you awesome people. <3



I was surprised on 31st March by my two beautiful sweeties in Seremban.
Yes, thank you for showing up there making my day so wonderful!
Not to forget, these two girls managed to surprise me without fail finally at the age of 19.
Acting skill improved that I didn't even notice Eunice was actually hiding the surprise. Lol!
Bai's birthday song made me jump up off coach and it was too good watching by people in that restaurant! :D





What my point was, I thank God for everything, especially for sending wonderful people into my life, and making me stay connected with them.
For close friends who are not around, I know that I am in your mind, and that is more than enough, seriously. :)
This year, my 19th, I know everything will not only be good, but great.
:)

And lastly, I pray that these awesome people never leave, as I would treasure them for my whole life.

I thought love might eat me up.

I always think, do I deserve things that people offering or lending or maybe showing?
Okay let's say that I am sick, especially when I am not home, I kind of sad because I have had nobody to groan to, and I am too scare that people shows me concern & love.
I don't understand why but I can't hide this feeling.
So its like I finally have another understanding on the reason that some people reject us for helping them and loving them.

Its like no big deal & people offer help because they care about you!
Why do you scare?
Its like I am doubting myself that do I deserve that love or concern.
Of course I appreciate everything and I am truly happy whenever I am concerned as i know i am not alone.
I too definitely know that people get annoyed when I doubt myself too much.
So guess what, I will stop doubting and have all my herbal tea drank, all concern taken, all love accepted. ;p
And the best way is, repay people with your love.
Even though its kind of hard for people like me, you know I just need time.

I understand if you are afraid of loneliness, boredom, darkness, cockroaches, lizards, spirits, blood......
I don't understand at all if you're afraid of being too concerned.
Its not like love would eat you up. Hehee.

无奈的成长

有些人有一种魔力, 会让你掏心掏肺向他倾诉心事.
有些人有一种魔力, 会让你向他倾吐之后后悔得恨不得撞墙.
问题是, 你介意的心事已经收不回来.
他非但不帮你介意, 还有意无意嘲笑你,威胁你,甚至不小心走漏风,声宣扬你的秘密.
这下怎么办?
你只好怪自己. 谁让你不小心看人,不三思而后行?
谁让你寂寞难耐, 非得要向不合适的人吐露你介意得要命的心事?
没关系.
自此以后你会小心翼翼,会花三年的时间去相信一个人.
这也是一种成长.
一种无奈的成长.

不过多年以后, 你会忘得一干二净.
因为小时候的秘密不会再是秘密.
秘密也有期限.

The Ugly Truth

You normally find it hard to acknowledge the truth.
Especially when it comes to people whom you never expected to carry the truth.

I better cover my eyes & shut my mind.

FTS.

Hypocrite

If washing your hand or cleaning your room too frequently when its not necessary is a symptom of obsessive-compulsive disorder, how about putting yourself in the same state of mind everyday without you able to get rid of it?


Some people don't show you how obsessive they are.

I am lazy to think of the title.

I think loyalty is something you can apply towards anyone.
You find it hard to be loyal to your partner, you find it hard to be loyal to your best friend.
There is only one best friend in the world, like there is only one right guy for you.
I finally get to understand the loneliness when you feel like you have nobody to talk to, even though you have plenty of friends around you.
Because there is something they can never understand, no matter how hard they try.

I am afraid of tomorrow.
Perhaps the day which i am proven wrong is coming very soon.



If rain could make my mood better,
I would just let it be,
But it seems to be wrong.
As my mood turned worse...
I love, I miss the scene,
When I covered you carefully,
with my black little umbrella.

I let the rain
drop on my left shoulder,
protect you more than myself.
How afraid I am, that you'll fall sick.
I never ask for your attention.
Just hope you will always be safe and sound.

You claim yourself a superwoman
And I always want to be your man.
Now I know how tough the job is,
To protect a superwoman,
To guard her by my side.

I doubt if I can find it back.

I hate how i behaved these days like a wild woman running on the street forgetting what i am supposed to do & whom i wanted to be.
I am out of words for it but I would rather be alone for the time being.

I miss home so much that I dream of my family every night while i am trying to gain my energy back.
Who would tell me how to be me in this circumstances.
I don't even feel like being friendly and sociable and i know this made everyone here thinks i am an eccentric weirdo.
I was not like this and i am not going to be this in the future.
Its just something that happened made me so and I am simply lazy to build things up within this short time and to be honest, short-period relationship could never secured me when the long one already put me down.

Fucked up everything.