如果世界不美好，为什么活着？

我总是相信这个世界是美好的。
不管发生什么事，我最不愿意自己怀疑人性。
提防性不高不是因为我粗心大意，我不愿意到处怀疑，觉得走在街上会被打枪，看见不同肤色的人就要拉紧包包。
这个不是我。
我相信人性本善，以前也总是觉得每个人都应该有改过自新的机会。
可是谁来给受害者机会？
第一次犯错的人有机会悔改，那受害者有没有机会忘掉痛苦的经历，重新生活？
现在我开始阻止自己同情犯错的人。这些人在犯错以前先用脑袋思考。
除非他们有生命危险而不得已犯错。

我不愿意胡乱指责无辜的人，如果不是长久下来的观察我不会随便怀疑。
我也害怕这样的指责会深深伤害无辜单纯的人。
可是如果闭门不解释，不为自己洗脱嫌疑，我不想同情这种人。
我不想用有色眼光看人，现实却逼我就范。
如果你还想要你的小命，你的财物，你最好天天戴着有色眼镜。

我不知道应该怎么让自己如人心惶惶。
这样生活很累。
这是一个很好的教训，世上的好人原来寥寥无几。

The sweetest worries.

I got all my breakdown grades today and I am overwhelmed by sweet regret.
Ahh, I didn't know I could have done so well in Physics.
That is what I least expected.
I dropped it when this semester started, I was not confident at all to get an A after AS.
And what made me so hesitate was my lecturer, Mr. Kumar.
I really love him.
I am very certain that if the lecturer wasn't him, I won't have any second thoughts to drop it.
I don't really hate Physics but frankly it increases my stress level. I am not too strong for it yeah?

Well I am not only thankful, I knew God answers my prayer even though I doubted myself so much.
I am also grateful for all the advice given by my seniors, friends, siblings, and those who prayed for me.
This is the sweetest gift I received this year.

2 more months to A2 and I have not started any revision for Physics.
So you know, its quite impossible to grab it back although Mr. Kumar felt pity about this.
Me too, who doesn't?
When I was in dilemma, I actually tried to drag the decision-making time to the very last minute.
The person who might give me some confidence or perhaps make me feeling better was not around.
I got no clue at all, without the verbal support.
So fine, I guess this is what fate called.
Putting it down means I can concentrate more on the other subjects, bringing more hope to achieve the best result.
Yeah, I'd just concentrate on what I wanted, without thinking the consequences of grabbing back Physics anymore.
Anyway, I don't want those sleepless nights come back to me after I have put in those effort.

I just, felt a little sad over this sweetest worries.

Yeah I am having good mood

You're always beautiful to people who loves you. :)

Ahh, keeping long hair is a bit troublesome, just a bit.
I have never had this length of hair before, this is the first time.
Yeah when I was five it was somewhere like this, but I cannot remember how was the feeling already.
My sister would remember, she used to like my long hair so much as she couldn't have it. Hah.
I was complaining to mom, said that I do not know how to sleep.
I do not know which side to lie on when I am lying on bed! :x
Mom asked me to cut it shorter, and then she regrets. 'Don't cut, your hair is so nice.'

I am bringing good news here.
Its a total release that I have been longing for, finally its solved.
I don't know how, I just knew this is the time and I have to be very honest to myself & my parents.
Knowing that they would accept no matter what I am becoming, I am so pleased.
Its not that I am changing anything for my future, just something that lies in me which might pull me down when I am stressed out.
Now this is gone, all gone.
By the way, not changing anything for my future only for now. Lol.

Thank God for everything! xoxo

虚荣心

有一些男人，面对脸上写着 ‘我不想谈恋爱’ 的女人，和开放迎接他们光顾的市场，这些不想谈恋爱的女人总是比较能激发男人的斗志。
只要是喜欢挑战的男人，都会一头栽进去，努力要把女人占为己有。
这是因为男人喜欢挑战，但这也是他们的虚荣心。
有什么比满足自己的虚荣心还要更满足？

有些很棒的女人，她们总是爱上外界认为的坏男人。
有人说这是因为这些女人有自虐倾向，她们愿意这样被伤害，被虐待。
这难道不是女人的虚荣心？
女人以为自己有魔力，魅力大到可以改变一个男人。
如果可以把一个坏男人驯服，那种满足是多么地骄傲。
她们不是故意爱上坏男人，只是她们的虚荣心太可怕。
她们也许只是想证明自己。

可是女人不懂，坏男人就算变乖，也只是暂时的。
不然为什么旁观者说这些女人喜欢自虐？
所以如果你看不过眼，请劝告这些女人不要再爱慕虚荣。

Loving this gift!

Ah thank God for the very good gift.
I am so glad for having this! :))
You know, this time I slept well before the day the result was released.
I just didn't think so much about it, not that nervous the night before.
I thought I improved in mental stability Lol.

I think I have given the best gift for dad, whose birthday was on the same date as my result was released.
I called him with my big good news, didn't know whether he was smiling  :<
Save it daddy, I want to see it when I am home. :)

I have a problem. I just feel happy for a while and that feeling gone fast.
I have to continue to work very hard to maintain this good result.
You know, when you have something good to grab in hand, you wouldn't want to lose it.
I am holding it so tightly that I sometimes feel pain.
Now I gave up one subject, I must do better as I told myself when I decide to drop it.
I don't really understand how people feel relieved after they give it up, I am still not feeling so right.
I think this is the same, I do the same grieving and finally putting down process every time I decided to let go of something.
If you know me, you will know how do I settle those mix feelings.

I didn't sleep last night, I was stressed over something, something that I don't really know what it is.
So I didn't pay for my lunch today, I forgot. Lol.
No worries because I will go back to pay, and I hope this will not happen again.
Twice already.

Life sucks.

I sometimes think, what is the purpose of saving people who spoiled their own health?

Why is happiness not equal to having a healthy lifestyle?

A good doctor saves all life, no matter its of a prisoner or a billionaire or a great person.

So people do whatever they want, eat whatever they eat, until the day they feel its so wrong.

No, until the day their bodies refuse to accept all these anymore.

I don't see any meaning saving these people's life.

Oh my god.

I am so bored studying.

A-level please finish fast.

I swear I won't just make myself concentrate in studies anymore.

How miserable that is. I need a life.

I don't understand, if I don't go out for fun when I am not home, and I need to stay at home when I am home, what else should I do?

You know its so tiring.

永远的偶像

一位我很敬爱的老师说过，第一很快会被取代，只有唯一是永恒的。

李宗伟是我们的唯一。

我不知道昨夜的他是不是一夜好眠，

凡夫俗子的我衷心希望他为自己感到骄傲。

李宗伟是大家永远的偶像。